I want to challenge the idea that being single means that you’ve done something wrong or missed your golden opportunity to date. In fact, Beloved, I want to assert that singlehood is the perfect time to experience the deepest and richest intimacy with Jesus. The major misunderstanding that society tries to shell out is that if you’re not in some form of a relationship with another person in ‘true love’, then you’re doing something wrong. The biblical truth that renders this type of thinking wrong is that we will never be able to find complete satisfaction in our relationships with other people, but only through God himself. (Psalm 107:9) The only person that can satisfy the innate desire of your heart for personal, life-giving, and world-changing intimacy is through the person of Jesus. (John 8:12, Matthew 6:33)
And the Lord will guide you continually and satisfy your desire in scorched places and make your bones strong; and you shall be like a watered garden, like a spring of water, whose waters do not fail. (Isaiah 58:11)
You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore. (Psalm 16:11)
I know that many of you have probably heard a sermon preached of Jesus being single in all His ministry and how He was completely satisfied and in love with the Father through it all. From birth to His death on His cross to His resurrection and unto eternity, Jesus found that His relationship with the Father is the most important. (John 16:28, John 10:30) Thus, we as believers ought to strive for this same intimacy with God that Jesus shared with the Father. (John 17) I don’t want to undermine this clear truth in the character of Jesus while He was here on this earth, but I want to take a different spin on the subject of singlehood.
Imagine you at your future wedding. Dressed up, full of joy, ready to take on this new chapter of your life with your significant other. Now, I don’t know about you, but I want to see a version of myself so deeply in love with the Lord that without me even having to say a word, the reflection of God’s love pierces my heart. I want to see a version of myself that possesses a tenured, sacrificial, and unending love for Jesus. Wouldn’t you want your significant other to receive someone so confidently rooted in their identity as a Son/Daughter of God? Wouldn’t you want your family and friends to celebrate a man or woman of God that they have seen grow in heart-to-heart fellowship with the Lord over the years?
In my honest opinion, I believe the most attractive quality of a person is their love for God. (1 Peter 3:3-4) You ever just meet people who are crazy in love with Jesus and love hanging out with them? Now, I’m not suggesting that you go and pursue God for the sake of being a nice catch to other people.
What I am suggesting is this:
Section out portions of every day to spend time and fall more in love with Jesus in the Secret Place. Go make a Secret Place today where you can set up royal appointments with the Lord on His throne. In your loneliness and longing for a significant other, learn to confide in the presence of the Holy Spirit and let Him just love you. Learn to be satisfied in the ways that the Holy Spirit is leading your life.
Go invest in the lives of some brothers or sisters, men and women respectively. Fellowship with men/women of God and forge friendships that point you to the Cross and holiness of God. (Proverbs 27:17)
Get into the Word of God. Search for a deeper understanding of the Word of God and don’t just simply rely on your leaders/mentors to feed you. Develop your own insight and personal relationship with the Word of God. (Matthew 5:4, John 1)
What if in this season instead of pursuing a man or woman you instead devote a season to pursue the One who has been pursuing you from the very beginning?